Now in chapter five of First
Timothy we will consider our relationships within the church. In the opening
words of chapter four Paul warned Timothy that the Holy Spirit clearly states
in the latter days "some will depart from the faith" (4:1). Paul
spoke of instructing the brethren about this. But how does a pastor or any
Christian interact with other Christians when they need to be corrected?
Chapter five will consider this. It will tell us how to interact with fellow
believers in the church.
1 Timothy 5 (NKJV)
The Overriding Relational Principle: Communicate in
Love
Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him
as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers,
younger women as sisters, with all purity.
The
term "rebuke" (Greek epiplesso) means to sharply, harshly rebuke. It literally means to strike or beat upon. A pastor or fellow believer is never to beat the sheep, either verbally or
physically. Instead we are to "exhort"
(Greek parakaleo) or call to someone, summon a friend to attend
court together, call to witness, exhort to action, encourage, comfort or
console. Contrasting these two terms results in the principle of communication.
When
a person rebukes another
communication is limited because the conversation is one way. The nature of a
rebuke usually involves an accusation, maybe a pointed finger, often anger,
even wrath. The Bible says human wrath doesn't achieve God's righteous purposes
(James 1:19-20).
The
word exhort implies two way
communication. There is the calling one to your side as a friend to consider
the facts of a circumstance like going to court and hearing both sides of an
issue. There are questions asked, "These are the facts and reality. What
do you think about that?" And the interaction is meant to spur the
offender to resolve problems, make corrections, get right with the Lord and an
offer to help to that end. There is more of a "Hey, I have something I
want to discuss with you. The Bible says this. I've noticed something in your
life that is out of step with what the Bible says. What do you think?" Communication is not compromise with sin, it
is considering sin together and working through and processing God's word in
life in a way that leads to resolution and restoration. That is what Paul
encourages Timothy to practice.
Paul
uses the imagery of family relationships as a backdrop on how to interact with
those in the Family of God; the church. In family relationships there is love. Family members want to continue in
their relationships. They don't want to be estranged from one another. There is
a family bond of the highest value. Family members are treasured and valuable.
Resolution of problems and restoration to loving peaceful relationships is
mutually desired by family members. Families want to stick together, be close,
love one another. There is a bond in family that is biological. There should be
a bond in the Family of God that is spiritual.
Biological
bonds are temporal. Spiritual bonds are eternal. That is why the Bible says,
"There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs
18:24). The "friend" that you will spend eternity with becomes closer than the biological tie to an earthly
family member that may only last this life. The ideal is biological family that
are also spiritual family.
Jesus
said, "'Who is My mother and who are My brothers?'
And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, 'Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the
will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother"
(Matthew 12:48-50). But He also spoke of the conflict amongst family that would
result from those who receive the gospel and those who do not. Jesus said that
the gospel would at times split earthly families between those who accept it
and those who do not accept the gospel (Matthew 10:34-39). When this happens
our love for Jesus must be our overriding loyalty. We need to take up our cross
and follow Jesus no matter what; even if
it costs us family.
"A
friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (Proverbs
17:17). When we go through the trials of life or pain together it knits our
hearts together. At the cross Jesus creates eternal family relationships. While
on the cross Jesus looked down at His mother Mary and disciple John and said to
them, "Woman, behold your son!' Then He
said to the disciple, 'Behold your mother!'"
(John 19:26-27). To be born again of the Spirit is to be adopted into the
family of God (Romans 8:12-17). The cross of Christ and His resurrection united
the 120 disciples in the Upper Room in prayer for their personal Pentecost and
the birth of the church (Acts 1-2). The church needs to be the Family of God
built in faith at the cross and continued in hope of the resurrection.
Relationships in the church are treasured eternal relationships and should be
treated as such.
We
are to treat those in the body of Christ as family.
We see this in his exhorting Timothy to treat the people of his flock as
"fathers. . . brothers. . .
mothers. . . sisters." Family is the place where the love of Christ is
learned. Family is where the sacrificial love of Christ is taught through
discipleship. This is a love that takes the initiative and loves those who
wrong them (Romans 5:8). This is a love that is from the Holy Spirit (Romans
5:5; Galatians 5:22-24). This is a love that is patient, kind, selfless,
polite, humble, pure and rooted in the truth of God's word (1 Cor. 13:4-8).
In
the family of God, like in our biological family older men are to be treated
"as a father." That
implies with loving respect and appreciation for their experience, knowledge
and wisdom. Younger men are to be treated "as brothers." That implies with patience, camaraderie, and
love. Older women are to be treated "as
mothers." That means with tenderness, respect, appreciating what they
have to say. And younger women are to be treated "as sisters, with all purity." Paul adds "with all
purity" recognizing to Timothy the particular dangerous temptations
between the sexes.
"Purity" (Greek hagneia) refers to sinlessness of life, sexual purity, chastity. As Paul speaks about
relationships in the Family of God the church one of the things he emphasizes
is purity. Sexual purity, not
indulging in sexual contact or intimate physical arousal outside of the
marriage covenant, is the standard for opposite sex relationships.
(Homosexuality or lesbianism are sexual sins that go without saying here - cf.
Romans 1; 1 Cor. 6:9-11, 18-20). Living a sanctified (separated and obedient to
God) sexual life is God's will for those in the body of Christ (cf. 1 Thess.
4:1-8). Such purity is God's call and order for the single Christian as well as
the re-singled Christian.
Family
today is broken and divided. Sinful selfishness has infiltrated the family so
that family members are easily discarded and separated from. A sinful worldly
worldview has led to seeing family members as objects that are valued only as
much as they can serve a purpose or meet need. Once they no longer serve a
purpose or meet a need they are discarded.
Family
members sometimes and even often show a lack of respect and harshness to one
another. Familiarity breeds contempt. But that should not be. Christians are to
be known by their love for one another (John 13:34-35) and this should be
especially the case in Christian families. Paul instructs Timothy to treat
those in the flock of God like family in the best of terms.
Paul
now turns to discussing the role of the Family of God as it relates to those in
need in the church.
Relations with those in Need in the
Family of God the Church
3 Honor widows
who are really widows.
Real
widows are widows who have no children or family to turn to for support. These are
to be held in "honor" (Greek
timao) or value, regarded, respected. Those who were truly destitute were to
be valued and assisted.
4 But if any
widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home
and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God.
Children
and grandchildren were responsible for caring for their parents. Children are
to "show piety at home and repay
their parents" for the years of care their parents provided. The Bible
stipulates children are to honor their parents (Exodus 20:12). This honor is
not dependant on whether or not parents have been "good." This honor
is to be given in love which means even if the one being loved doesn't deserve
such love. That is the way of Jesus. Such an arrangement was and is "good and acceptable before God."
"Grandchildren" (Greek ekgonos) refers first to children's
children but is broader than just grandchildren and extends to descendants or family relatives. Family
relationships are the prime means for caring for family members in need.
5 Now she who
is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications
and prayers night and day.
The
widow who is all alone without family to help her "trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day."
The true widow is to be helped by the Family of God but her responsibility is
to live a life of trust in God and prayer ministry. The true widow is to live
by faith in God to provide for her. The church, the pastor, church leaders and
church ministry is to be upheld in prayer by such widowed persons.
6 But
she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. 7 And these
things command, that they may be blameless.
"Pleasure"(Greek spatalao) refers to living for self gratification, living luxuriously, living wantonly,
living in self-indulgence and sensual pleasures. Some background for
Ephesus is helpful here. One commentary states:
In Ephesus and elsewhere in the First Century, many
single women resorted to immoral living
as a means of support. Paul might have had this kind of widow in mind when he said, "But she that liveth in
pleasure is dead while she liveth." Because these widows had chosen to support themselves in this
unchristian manner, they were outside the sphere of the Church's responsibility and care. The phrase "is dead
while she liveth" indicates a condition
when though the body's physical life is maintained, its spiritual life is dead.[1]
Sometimes
people who suffer loss, like a widow, rather than turning to the Lord for
comfort turns sinful or carnal things to fulfill her inner needs. That never
works and as Paul comments such a person is "dead while she lives,"
Eating, sex, and any other thing is not going to meet the inner needs we have
when we suffer loss. Jesus, prayer and His word and in particular the Family of
God are the means for those in need, like real widows, to find help. This is
what Paul means when he says, "And
these things command, that they may be blameless."
8 But if anyone
does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has
denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Caring
for family members is of utmost important. Paul says when we fail to care for
our family members and abandon them "has
denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." "Denied" (Greek
arneomai) means deny, renounce, disown, refuse. If you don't care for family you
demonstrate you've rejected "the faith," or all Jesus died and stands
for. Children, grandchildren and extended family members are to support one
another. That is true for the biological Christian family as well as for the
biological unbelieving family; it is a universal principle. "Worse than an unbeliever" implies
that even non-believing families share this universal responsibility to care
for family members in need. Family is
responsible for its family members.
9 Do not let a
widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she
has been the wife of one man, 10 well reported for good works:
if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed
the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently
followed every good work.
Apparently
the church took in real widows (who had no other means of support) and cared
for them. The qualifications for a real widow to be eligible for being taken in
and supported by the church was that she was not "under sixty years old," and had been "the wife of one man." A wife of
more than one man would likely have family to support her. She needed to be
"well reported for good works."
She had to have a good reputation as one who was diligent and involved in the
"good works" ministry of the church. She had to be willing to be
involved in ministry. She had to be mother who "has brought up children." Perhaps she would be helpful in the
children's ministry. She furthermore needed to be described as one who "has lodged strangers, if she has washed the
saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed
every good work." She needed to be hospitable, have a servant's heart,
have a heart of mercy for those "afflicted" in some way, and she just
needed to be open to be used and work however the Lord chose to apply her. Such
a "widow" would be supported but she would also serve as an important
cog in the workings of the church.
11 But refuse the
younger widows; for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they
desire to marry, 12 having condemnation because they have cast
off their first faith.
Paul
instructs Pastor Timothy to "refuse"
(Greek paraiteomai) or decline, beg off, refuse, reject as
eligible for support. Paul will now go on to explain and give reasons for why
such younger widows are not to be accepted into the support program of the
church. It bears repeating that what Paul says here is true not only for a re-singled person but for any single non-married
person. There are principles for the single non-married person contained in
these verses.
"Younger widows" would be those who
were "under sixty years old."
Those under sixty would be more likely to remarry. Paul points out such younger
widows may "grow wanton against
Christ," and "desire to
marry." "Grow wanton
against" (Greek katastreniao)
means a lack of discipline particularly
in controlling sensual lustful temptations which turns them against their
relationship with Jesus. Paul is speaking of young widowed women who are
carried away by temptation to fulfill sexual desires that were once fulfilled
in their marriage. If fulfilling sexual
desires outside of marriage was true of "younger widows" it would
also be true of anyone. Sexual intimacy in any form outside of a marriage
covenant is sinful and "wanton."
Fulfilling
sexual desires outside of marriage for
"younger widows" and for anyone results in "condemnation" (Greek krima) which means to separate or a sentence of
condemnation that separates us from "their
first faith" or saving faith in Jesus. Such "wanton"
behavior is consequently an act where a
widow "cast off" (Greek atheteo) or nullifies, rejects, ignores, disregards or makes void "their first faith." The nature of
sin is to separate the sinner from God (cf. Isaiah 59:1-2). While no one can
snatch a Christian out of the grasp of Jesus (John 10:28), what Paul says here
is that a person who had put their faith in Jesus can themselves choose to "cast
off" such faith and turn from Jesus to follow instead their sinful
lusts. No one can steal our faith; not the devil; not demons; not any person.
But there is evidence that a person can willfully choose to forsake the Lord.
Surely Jesus prays for us like He did for Peter who was being hotly pursued by
Satan (cf. Luke 22:31-32). But the deciding factor is Peter's willful decision
to reject or follow Jesus. Peter faltered, but Jesus was there to restore him.
Judas faltered, but he chose to commit suicide and was eternally condemned as
"the son of perdition" (John 17:12). God has sovereignly determined
to include human free will decisions in His redemptive plan. Free will is part
of His image in us. How we choose is integral to our eternal destiny.
Paul
isn't saying its sinful for a young widow to remarry. He had taught elsewhere
that when a spouse dies or an unbelieving spouse leaves the widow or one left
is free to remarry (cf. 1 Cor. 7:9). What Paul is speaking of here is the
danger that a young widow would remarry
an unbeliever and in so doing betray their first love Jesus. Interestingly
Jesus corrected the Ephesian church for having left her first love (Rev. 2:4).
13 And besides
they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only
idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.
Such
"younger widows" "learn
to be idle" (Greek argos) or
idle, lazy, useless, careless, inactive. They
live a purposeless life like a lounging couch potato. When they do move they
are "wandering from house to house,"
(Greek perierchomai) to stroll aimlessly, act like a vagabond,
walk around. They then act as "gossips
and busybodies, saying things which they ought not". Gossiping is one
of the things the Lord hates (cf. Proverbs 6:16-19). "Gossips" (Greek phlyaros)
are those who are tattlers, speaking
silly or foolish things, talking without meaning. "Busybodies" (Greek periergos) are those who those neglectful of important matters,
living in the superficial, prying into other people's affairs.
William Barclay comments:
"Because a woman had not enough to do, she might become one of those creatures who drift from house to
house in an empty social round. It was almost
inevitable that such a woman would become a gossip; because she had
nothing important to talk about, she
would tend to talk scandal, repeating tales from house to house, each time with a little more embroidery
and a little more malice.... She would be very
apt to be over-interested and over-interfering in the affairs of others" (The
Daily Study Bible, The Letters to
Timothy, Titus, and Philemon, p. 114). A busybody pays attention to affairs of others and is
meddlesome. A tattler ("talebearer") betrays private confidences.[2]
14 Therefore I
desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the
house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15 For
some have already turned aside after Satan.
What
is the solution for such scattered superficial living of the young widows? Paul
says it would be best for them to remarry (and of course to remarry one in the
faith). She should "bear children,
manage the house." She should seek to be a mother and devote herself
to family pursuits.
This
would go far in preventing "the
adversary to speak reproachfully." Paul isn't speaking of just any
adversary. He is speaking of "the
adversary," "Satan."
Satan is the one preying on and using the gossipy busybodies to divide God's
people. Paul says, "Some have
already turned aside to Satan." Jesus said Satan is a deceiver who has
no truth in himself. He is a murderer and a liar and the father of lies (John
8:44). He is the one behind gossip and the busybody lifestyle. That is one
reason God our Father hates gossip and bearing false witness. When we lie or
twist the truth or present it in a twisted way to fulfill our own desires
against another we are doing the devil's bidding. Remember that. Our standard
is to speak God's truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Whenever we lie or even use
the "truth" about someone in a way that harms them we are doing the
devil's bidding. Watch out for that! Gossip and such divisive behavior divides
the people of God and God hates such behavior. DON'T GOSSIP AND DON'T LIVE A
PURPOSELESS BUSYBODY WAY OF LIFE.
16 If any
believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the
church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.
Christian
family members are to look out for one another. There should not be undue
material burdens put on the church. Families need to look out for their
members.
Relations with Pastors
17 Let the
elders who rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially those who
labor in the word and doctrine.
Paul
now speaks of the relationship between the church congregation and its "elder" (Greek prebyteros) or senior pastor. Those who "rule" (Greek proistemi)
govern, rule, manage, attend to "well" (Greek kalos) or good, well, full
well, excellently, rightly are "worthy"
(Greek axioo) or are entitled to, fit for, deserving of, "double" (Greek diplous) two-fold "honor" (Greek
time) or value, money paid, price, honor, seeing as precious. The pastor who
is a good overseer of the church is deserving of being seen as and actually
being remunerated double or twice as usually given. This is "especially" (Greek malista) or particularly, chiefly, mostly, especially true of the pastor who is
devoted to "labor" (Greek kopiao) works hard, toils in, labors to the point of exhaustion, "in the word and doctrine" or in God's word and its teaching.
The
Family of God is to support their pastor. The Flock of God is to support their
shepherd and that is especially true if they have been blessed with a pastor or
shepherd who is devoted to labor in the scriptures and teaching of God's word.
This doesn't mean pastors should be living in the lap of luxury. It does mean
the material needs of the pastor (which would include his family) would be met
by the local congregation so that meeting such needs would not be a distraction
from his labor in the word and teaching.
18 For the
Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox while it treads out the grain,”
and, “The laborer is worthy of his wages.”
Paul
substantiates his instruction to the local church to support her pastor by
quoting Deuteronomy 25:4 (cf. also 1 Cor. 9:9). As a final piece of authority
he quotes Jesus to substantiate his instruction "The
laborer is worthy of his wages" (Luke 10:7; cf. also Matthew 10:10). What is interesting is that Paul
is likely quoting from Luke's gospel account which had been written by the time
of Paul's First epistle to Timothy. Therefore Paul, in quoting Jesus' words as
written by Luke is showing already he viewed Luke's gospel account as having
equal authority to "the Scripture"
of the Torah and Old Testament.
Financial and monetary support of the local pastor by the church he oversees is
established by the Old and New Testament.
19 Do not
receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses.
Paul
now speaks instruction to safeguard the reputation of the pastor. Paul
instructs Timothy to not receive an "accusation"
(Greek katagoria) or complaint, criminal charge, accusation against
an "elder" or pastor unless there was the corroboration of "two or three witnesses."
Deuteronomy 19:15 clearly states there needed to be a minimum of two or three witnesses
who would corroborate charges made in court. Nothing less should be expected or
accepted when brought against a pastor. People who gossip about the pastor or
slander him as well as those who listen to such uncorroborated slander should
take this verse to heart.
20 Those who
are sinning rebuke in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear.
Paul
speaks of church discipline. The context would be focused on how to discipline
the pastor who is guilty of sin. Publically rebuking such a pastor would serve
as a deterrent to others. When pastors see local pastors or media preachers
fall into sin, it should serve as a wakeup call to guard against following in
their same waywardly sinful ways.
There
is an application for Christians in general here too. There is a deterrent
effect of rebuking sinners publically in the church. When the rest of the
congregation sees such rebuke it should give them an incentive to not follow in
the sinful ways of the one rebuked. Acts 5 is probably the strongest example of
public rebuke. In that case Ananias and Sapphire's hypocritical actions were
publically rebuked and the Spirit sentenced them to death on the spot. There is
a place for public rebuke when private attempts to correct have fallen on deaf
ears (e.g. Matthew 18:15-17).
21 I charge you
before God and the Lord Jesus Christ and the elect angels that you observe
these things without prejudice, doing nothing with partiality.
Paul
charges Timothy in the strongest terms; "before God and the Lord Jesus Christ and the elect angels that you observe these things."
For Paul the greatest incentive and reason to abide obediently by ministerial
instruction is that we are "before God and the Lord Jesus Christ and the
elect angels." And observing these words of disciplinary instruction
needed to be done "without
prejudice" (Greek prokrima)
or without prejudging. There should
be no ulterior motives behind church discipline. What is decided needs to be
based on evidence and sound unbiased judgment. And the standard is "doing nothing with partiality."
"Partiality" (Greek proklisis) partiality, preinclination. The idea is Paul is saying when such
discipline is imposed there should not be any judging before the cases for
both sides have been made. Carrying out such discipline was to be fairly
and righteously done.
22 Do not lay
hands on anyone hastily, nor share in other people’s sins; keep yourself pure.
In
other words, before as pastor you symbolize your agreement on someone for a
position, wait until there is ample evidence to warrant and justify such
agreement. To lay hands on someone was a symbol of uniting and agreeing with
God that they were called to ministry or a position. Paul warns against laying
your hands on someone perhaps for expediency or because of a need and not also
because there is evident fruit to show such a person is indeed called to
ministry.
Paul
warns, "nor share in other people's
sins." If a pastor lays hands and joins in agreement with a person to
go into ministry without seeing evidence of their call, then when time reveals
sin or no evidentiary fruit of calling, the pastor ends up sharing in such sin
by having prematurely approving it or glancing over it.
Instead,
the pastor should not lay hands on anyone "hastily" (Greek tacheos)
or quickly, shortly, or before the
time needed to verify such a call. The pastor needs to "keep yourself pure" (Greek hagnos) holy, pure, chaste, pure from every fault in this regard.
23 No longer
drink only water, but use a little wine for your stomach’s sake and your frequent
infirmities.
Timothy
was apparently a water only drinker. In Biblical times and even today water in
the Middle East is not purified and can cause stomach upset. This is true even
today in some areas. Paul is producing a remedy. He tells Timothy to drink
"a little wine for your stomach's
sake." Observe Paul says, "a
little" (Greek oligos) or a
small amount, short amount. And Paul's instruction is medicinal. There is no basis for justifying consumption of wine or
alcoholic beverages based on this personal instruction of Paul to Timothy.
24 Some men’s
sins are clearly evident, preceding them to judgment, but those of some men
follow later. 25 Likewise, the good works of some are
clearly evident, and those that are otherwise cannot be hidden.
Paul ends the chapter to
Timothy with some words of wisdom as it pertains to choosing pastors and
leaders. He comments that the sin of some people is clear to see and leads them
to judgment. But some men's sins are hidden or not evident now but are
nonetheless real. The same is true with the good works of some, they are
clearly seen now, but others good works are not so readily apparent, yet they
"cannot be hidden" in the
end.
The meaning of these contrasts is
clear. Obvious sins lead the way to judgment. Hidden sins follow men to judgment. Obvious good works are noticed,
applauded, and appreciated.
Hidden good works are known to God and will be rewarded. God will deal with men in a fair and equitable manner.
"These parallel observations,
viewing human potentialities both negatively and positively, bring out forcibly the complexities involved in
selecting suitable candidates for God's
work. Hasty action relies on first impressions, but these impressions are often
deceptive. Unworthy men might be chosen,
whose moral culpability lies deeper than the surface;
and worthy men, whose good actions are not in the limelight, might easily be overlooked. The whole situation
demands extreme caution" (Guthrie, Tyndale New Testament Commentaries, 14:109).[3]
The church is a
Family of God. Such a Family is networked with human relations that pose both
blessing and potential problems. Such a network is to be held together by
Christlike love. It is to be overseen by the local pastor. This is no small
task and the local pastor needs the support of his flock both spiritually and
materially. Choosing others to serve in ministry is not something to be done
carelessly. It requires patience and an observing eye. The pastor who is worthy
of double honor in such a calling is the one who labors with all his heart
"in the word and doctrine." Such a pastor is worthy and deserving of
double honor and practical support.
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